i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos