Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me