Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.