Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for