Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (817)

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  (817): View more from Texas

  Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.

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  (817): Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks. http://tfl.nu/ubnm
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  i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole

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  (817): i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole http://tfl.nu/vkxw
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  don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.

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  (817): don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do. http://tfl.nu/i2co
  Replies (20) Good night (882) Bad night (1713) Order T-Shirt
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  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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  (817): Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have. http://tfl.nu/2nqb
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  Big sunglasses are the new paper bag

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  ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex

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  (214): Big sunglasses are the new paper bag (817): ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex http://tfl.nu/2sef
  Replies (38) Good night (2890) Bad night (651)
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  I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!

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  (817): I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network! http://tfl.nu/tfom
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  I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not

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  (817): I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not http://tfl.nu/w4u2
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  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2529) Bad night (598)
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  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

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  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
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  matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.

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  (817): matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere. http://tfl.nu/fb8z
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  If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.

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  (817): If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral. http://tfl.nu/qqbj
  Replies (13) Good night (3016) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.

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  (817): I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone. http://tfl.nu/zv8s
  Replies (28) Good night (2227) Bad night (1018)
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  is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.

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  (817): is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign. http://tfl.nu/8cf5
  Replies (51) Good night (2272) Bad night (983)
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  Midnight walks are trippy

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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  (817): Midnight walks are trippy (1-817): I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon. http://tfl.nu/r0y6
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  You weighed it?

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  (817): Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car? (1-817): You weighed it? http://tfl.nu/lai6
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