Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.