The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket