besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.