Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.