you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
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He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.