All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.