guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.