soooo we both peed the bed last night...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.