I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope