9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.