you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist