If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Dating After Heartbreak
a search helicopter?!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons