The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
a search helicopter?!