The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.