Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers