nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.