saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.