i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.