i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
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hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.