i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?