Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.