We left an ass print on the piano.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
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it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis