Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.