I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
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It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex