my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just had sex bonerless
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man