Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.