I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.