It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
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You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?