Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.