hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
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You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.