What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"