casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.