Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.