Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.