all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.