i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.