Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln