Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that