Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.