Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us