Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
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Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.