Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Michigan (248)

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?

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  (248): I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape? http://tfl.nu/ekyk
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  he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.

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  (248): he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question. http://tfl.nu/v6vq
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  she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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  (248): she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look. http://tfl.nu/ne7a
  Replies (14) Good night (623) Bad night (4248) Order T-Shirt
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  Her vagina should come with caution tape.

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  (248): Her vagina should come with caution tape. http://tfl.nu/ca9x
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  Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.

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  (248): Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students. http://tfl.nu/08kn
  Replies (48) Good night (598) Bad night (4153)
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  Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

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  (248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt
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  no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories

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  (248): no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories http://tfl.nu/4m9s
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  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
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  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (994) Bad night (3961) Order T-Shirt
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  Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.

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  (248): Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in. http://tfl.nu/0n5k
  Replies (19) Good night (936) Bad night (3797) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Update, blind date is cute and fun.

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  Scratch that, blind date just threw up.

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  (248): Update, blind date is cute and fun. (248): Scratch that, blind date just threw up. http://tfl.nu/ooba
  Replies (10) Good night (395) Bad night (3741)
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  i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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  (248): i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia http://tfl.nu/d416
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  I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.

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  (248): I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food. http://tfl.nu/368q
  Replies (59) Good night (587) Bad night (3544) Order T-Shirt
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  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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  (248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy
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  A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.

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  (248): A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/bfx0
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