I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
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I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
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Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu