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So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we're blogging at a bar
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
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