So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.