And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it