Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through