as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.