I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.