your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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