i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
