some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.