i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville