didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.