There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome