Texts From Last Night

marqkernelljr's Favorites Texts:

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  (360): View more from Washington

  All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.

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  (360): All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together. http://tfl.nu/fujj
  Replies (13) Good night (4893) Bad night (1058) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her

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  (336): We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her http://tfl.nu/niqc
  Replies (14) Good night (1305) Bad night (5298) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

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  (315): My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships... http://tfl.nu/1r9u
  Replies (43) Good night (3073) Bad night (6571) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?

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  (716): i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know? http://tfl.nu/fcdy
  Replies (7) Good night (971) Bad night (3838) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first

  (206): View more from Washington

  You are the luckiest man alive

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  (801): Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first (206): You are the luckiest man alive http://tfl.nu/uh0h
  Replies (16) Good night (10442) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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  (540): i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building http://tfl.nu/8nc8
  Replies (22) Good night (5976) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.

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  (703): I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes. http://tfl.nu/8kb3
  Replies (22) Good night (730) Bad night (8579) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

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  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
  Replies (56) Good night (1899) Bad night (10736) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

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  (864): So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life" http://tfl.nu/u5wp
  Replies (175) Good night (51695) Bad night (5691)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm fucking your sister right now.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  You motherfucker

  (813): View more from Florida

  She's next.

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  (813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup
  Replies (152) Good night (65389) Bad night (3438)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time

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  (817): You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time http://tfl.nu/ixfn
  Replies (44) Good night (7198) Bad night (3895) Order T-Shirt