remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon