you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
smell my finger.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day