Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...