Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.