He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping