First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.